Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Well, it's day 3 of my sabbatical journey and I've already succumbed. I've made a list. I know, I know. I shouldn't. I think it's against the point of a sabbatical. Of course, right at the top of my list - my first entry - was the line: "Do not make a list." I guess I won't be checking that one off anytime soon.
For most of my adult life I've made lists. Monday mornings wouldn't be complete without one. How else can you categorize the tasks to be done? I don't think I could function without one. They tell me what to do.
And maybe therein lies the problem. Do. For a personality type like mine, "doing" can become the "end-all-be-all" of existence. Life revolves around checking stuff off a list ("Git r done" as the southern Illinoisians say). Days are evaluated based on how much got checked off a list - great days have crossed out tasks but frustration sets in if lists go untouched.
Of course, that doesn't mean I don't value people and relationships. I put them on the list. Sigh.
Perhaps, today I'll put away the list. Nah, that's probably not enough. Today I'll burn the list. And maybe just maybe, when I call for the flame, I'll glimpse the God who loves me for who I am and not just what I do.